Top 10 of the best April Fool’s jokes

Today is one of the most light hearted days of the year, because today is April Fool’s Day, or also called as the All Fool’s Day. How much to you know about April Fool’s Day, apart from playing practical jokes or pranks on your friends?

The origin of April Fool’s Day are uncertain. Some see it as a celebration related to the changes in the calendar. At one time, the New Year celebration began on March 25 and ended on April 1. However, in 1582, King Charles IX of France adopted the Gregorian calendar and accepted the beginning of the new year as January 1. Those who refused to acknowledge the new date or simply forgot, received foolish gifts and invitations to nonexistent parties.

Here are 10 of the best April Fool’s pranks of all time that have been ranked by the San Diego-based Museum of Hoaxes, based on notoriety, absurdity and the number of people fooled.

1. The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest
Panorama, a respected BBC News show announced in 1957 that a mild winter and the eradication of the destructive spaghetti weevil had led to a bumper spaghetti crop for Swiss farmers. Video showed peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. The BBC was deluged by calls from viewers wanting to know how to grow their own spaghetti trees. The BBC actually gave out instructions: “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”

2. Sidd Finch
In 1985, Sports Illustrated magazine published a story that a rookie baseball pitcher who could reportedly throw a ball at 270 kilometers per hour (168 miles per hour) was set to join the New York Mets. Finch was said to have mastered his skill — pitching significantly faster than anyone else has ever managed — in a Tibetan monastery. Mets fans everywhere celebrated at their teams’s amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the writer of the article, George Plimpton.

3. Instant Color TV
Sweden in 1962 had only one television channel, which broadcast in black and white. The station’s technical expert appeared on the news to announce that thanks to a newly developed technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to receive color pictures by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen. Reportedly, hundreds of thousands of people, out of the population of seven million, were taken in. Actual color tv transmission only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

4. The Taco Liberty Bell
In 1996, American fast-food chain Taco Bell announced that it had bought Philadelphia’s Liberty Bell, a historic symbol of American independence, from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called up the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell is housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed that it was all a practical joke a few hours later. Then-White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale and said the Lincoln Memorial in Washington had also been sold and was to be renamed the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial after the automotive giant.

5. San Serriffe
The Guardian, a British newspaper, published a seven-page special section in 1977 to honor the tenth anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of articles described the geography and culture of the obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader General Pica. The Guardian’s phones rang off their hooks as callers tried to find out more about what sounded like an ideal vacation spot, not recognizing that everything about San Serriffe involved printer’s terminology. This successful hoax is believed to have led to a long history of other journalism-based April Fool’s jokes in the British tabloid press.

6. Nixon for President
In 1992, US National Public Radio announced that Richard Nixon was running for president again. His new campaign slogan was, “I didn’t do anything wrong, and I won’t do it again.” They even had clips of Nixon announcing his candidacy. Listeners flooded the show with calls expressing their outrage. Only during the second half of the show did the host John Hockenberry reveal that the announcement was a practical joke. Nixon’s voice was actually impersonated by comedian Rich Little.

7. Alabama Changes the Value of Pi
A newsletter published in 1998 by the New Mexicans for Science and Reason claimed that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the ‘Biblical value’ of 3.0. Before long the article had made its way onto the Internet, and was forwarded by email around the world. The Alabama legislature received hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by a physicist named Mark Boslough.

8. The Left-Handed Whopper
Burger King, my favorite burger store; published a full page advertisement in USA Today in 1998 announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a “Left-Handed Whopper” specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. The sandwich reportedly included the same ingredients as the original Whopper but the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The chain said it received thousands of requests for the new burger, as well as orders for the original “right-handed” version.

9. Hotheaded Naked Ice Borers
Discover Magazine announced in 1995 that a wildlife biologist named Dr. Aprile Pazzo (Italian for April Fool) had discovered a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. The creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this characteristic to hunt penguins by melting the ice beneath them and causing them to sink into slush where they were trapped. Dr. Pazza theorized the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. “To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin,” the article quoted her saying. Discover received more mails in response to this article than they had received for any other articles in their history.

10. Planetary Alignment Decreases Gravity
British astronomer Patrick Moore announced on the radio in 1976 that at 9:47 am, a once-in-a-lifetime astronomical event, in which Pluto would pass behind Jupiter, would cause a gravitational alignment that would reduce the earth’s gravity. Moore told listeners that if they jumped in the air at the exact moment of the planetary alignment, they would experience a floating sensation. Just after 9:47, hundreds of callers claimed to have felt the sensation. One woman even said she and eleven friends had risen from their chairs and floated around the room!

There you are the top 10 April Fool’s Day hoaxes. Of the top 10, my favorite would be the Color TV joke… how can you turn a black-and-white TV into a color TV by pulling a nylon stocking over the screen? Haha… the most is that you can see how colorful is your stocking…

If you want you can share with us the best April Fool’s Day hoax or joke you have every played on someone, or that you have received.

HAPPY APRIL’S FOOL!

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MUSIC TO GET RICH BY - Dave Barry

Music Lessons
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MUSIC TO GET RICH BY -- Dave Barry
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Basically there are two kinds of music:
: "CLASSICAL" music, which is the kind written by dead German guys and played by people wearing tuxedos.
: "REGULAR" music, which can be written by anybody and played by anybody and gets on the radio a lot.
If you want to make large sums of money, you should get into regular music. These days classical music is popular with only about three hundred people, the same ones who contribute voluntarily to public television. Classical music tends to go on for days, which is why it is played by "orchestras," or groups of four hundred fifty to five hundred people whose parents made them practice classical music when all the other kids were out learning how to french-kiss. Orchestra people divide up the labor: one group will play a batch of music,or "movement," then everybody sits back and reads magazines from little magazine stands while the "conductor" consults his notes and decides which musicians will play next. Sometimes the conductor singles out a musician who has been chewing gum or fooling around and forces him or her to play all alone while the other musicians snicker. If you ever have to be in an orchestra, you should try to sit in back, near the guy who plays the triangle. You'll hardly ever get called on.


Music scholars divide orchestra instruments into five families:
: Instruments You Blow into and Eventually Have to Get the Spit out of (tubas, whistles, cormorants, tribunes).
: Instruments You Hit (drums, triangles, rhomboids, homophones).
: Instruments That Are Easily Concealed (piccolos).
: Furniture (pianos).
: Instruments That Could Turn out to Be Worth a Million Skillion Dollars (violins). The really valuable violins are the ones made by Antonius Stradivarius, which are prized because they were made with exquisite care and craftsmanship and each one contains just over seventeen ounces of gummy bears in a secret compartment which you open by pressing with your chin.
Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too complicated: you need twenty-five or thirty skilled musicians just to hum it properly. So people began to develop regular music. The most profitable kind of regular music is rock 'n' roll.
Rock 'n' roll comes from the blues, a kind of music developed by American slaves. It is called the "blues" because it is very sad. Evidently the slaves found slavery depressing.
Blues lyrics generally go like this:

> My woman she done left me <
> My children left me too <
> My mule done kicked my kidneys <
> And my income tax is due <

For a long time, blues music was popular only with black people, who were then known as "Negroes." Black blues musicians played in lowdown bars for very little money. Then, in the early 1950s, young white people got interested in the blues. They developed a modified version called "rock 'n' roll," which became enormously popular and turned many of them into millionaires. They routinely paid homage to the black blues musicians who paved the way for them, who made it all possible, and who continued to play in lowdown bars for very little money.
The principal difference between rock 'n' roll and classical music is that your average piece of classical music has about a dozen melodies and no words, whereas your average rock 'n' roll song as one melody (sometimes less) and about a dozen words. When rock 'n' roll composers are in a hurry to finish songs so they can get to important luncheon dates, they sometimes make up some of the words. Take, for example, the words to the 1960s hit rock 'n' roll song "Sittin' in La La":

> Sittin' in la la waitin' for my ya ya <
> Uh huh, uh huh <
> Sittin' in la la waitin' for my ya ya <
> Uh huh, uh huh <

Probably the composer planned to go back and put in real words for "la la" and "ya ya," but before he could get around to it somebody released the song and it sold several million records. Another example is "Land of a Thousand Dances," whose composer evidently got called away to an urgent appointment after he had written only two words:

> I said na na na na na <
> Na na na na na na na na na na <
> Na na na na <

The other kinds of regular music you can make money from are country music, which is popular with people who like songs about drunken infidelity but requires singers with funny clothes and Southern accents; big-band music, which is popular with people who like big bands but requires big bands; and easy-listening music, which is popular in elevators and super-markets but can be sung only by groups of heavily sedated suburbanites. You should steer clear of jazz, opera, folk, marching-band and bagpipe music: the market for these is minuscule. You never will see hordes of fans clamoring for the autograph of a bagpiper.

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Evolution of Dance

The funniest 6 minutes you will ever see! Remember how many of these you have done!

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Some funny quotes

Just relax and enjoy :)

1. A FuNnY GuY CaN MaKe U LaUgH, A SwEeT GuY CaN OpEn Ur He@rT, BuT OnLy @ HoT GuY CaN OpEn Ur LeG$

2. If Ya SwEeT U CaN CaLl me HoNeY If Ya CuTe U CaN CaLl Me BaBy But If Ya hOt U cAn CaLl Me 2NiGhT!!

3. A PrEt+Y GiRl CaN KiSs A gUy, A BiRd CaN KiSs A But+ErfLy ThE RiSiNg SuN CaN KiSs Da GrAsS And U mY FrIeNd CaN KiSs My AsS

4. CaN H@vE Ur PhOtO So I CaN ShOw SaNtA WhAt I wAnT 4 XmAs??

5. U C@n F@lL FrOm Da SkY Or F@lL FrOm a TrEe BuT ThE BeSt WaY To FaLl Is iN (l) WiTh Me!!

6. iM A MaThS TeAcHeR, So LeTs PlUs ThE BeD, MiNuS ThE ClOtHeS, DiVidE ThE LeGs, AnD MuLtIpLy


7. I lost my phone numbers, can i have urs?

8. God made the wind blow, God made the wind shine, But how the hell did he make u so **** fine

9. Noboby's perfect there4 i must b Nobody

10. Roses are red, Violets are funky, Im thinking of you while spanking my monkey

11. dont hate be because im beautiful, hate me because ur boyfriend thinks i am

12. Roses are red, violets are black, go to hell and never come back

13. Why do people report power outages on TV?

14. A man is a king, a king is a ruler, a ruler is 12 inches... Are you still a man?

15. this is this cat
this was is cat
this is how cat
this was to cat
this is keep cat
this was a cat
this is idiot cat
this was busy cat
Ok? Now read the 3rd word in every line


For love and friendship

1. The spaces between our fingers were made so another persons fingers could fill them

2. If i had to chose 2 love u or to breathe i would choose to take my last breath to say i love you

3. To LOVE is one thing, to be loved is another, but to be loved by the one you love, is everything.

4. When I saw you I was afraid to meet you , When I met you I was afraid to kiss you, When I kissed you I was afraid to love you, Now that I love you, I'm afraid to lose you.

5. Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love. - Albert Einstein

6. Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

7. A friend is someone who, knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

8. "We started our group....Our circle of friends....And like that
circle....There is no beginning or end...."



For a better life

1. What lies before us, and what lies behind us are tiny matter compared to what lies within us.

2. We make a living out of the things we get, but we make a life out of what we give.

3. Good things come to those who wait. (Correct ! in Counter-Strike, who camping and waiting can kill too many people )

4. Enjoy the little things, for one day you will look back on your life and realize they were the big things.

5. There's a little bit of bad in the best of us, and a little bit of good in the worst of us. So none of us, bad or good, have any right to say anything about any of us.

6. People usually ignore the things you say, but when you show them what you mean, everything changes.

7. Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see shadows.

8. A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other--maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, maybe forever...but it will happen.

9. You never stop loving someone you truly loved, you just learn how to live without them.

10. Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules; then you must forget the rules and play by heart.

11. To find out things we ask, to share we help

12. You never know what you have until it is gone.

13. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

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Types of computer viruses (Joke)

Types of computer viruses

Adam and Eve virus:
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Airline virus:
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus:
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus:
This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does.Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus:
Overdraws your computer.Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus:
Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus:
Makes your screen go completely white.
Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus:
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus:
Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus:
If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus:
It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus:
probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus:
Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus:
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus:
Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus:
This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN, twice if by C:.
Paul Tsongas virus:
Pops up on December 25 and says, "I'm not Santa Claus."

PBS virus:
Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism".

Richard Nixon virus:
Also known as the "Tricky Dick Virus", you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus:
Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus:
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus:
Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus:
Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose "Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.

Texas virus:
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus:
Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.

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How to build a CatSwing

it´s better if you don´t do it with your kitty....

no cats were injured during the drawing process!
don´t worry, the cat has fun! :)

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Relax :)

In Real Life!!!!

If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a new style...

If a driver makes a mistake,
It is an accident...

If a doctor makes a mistake,
It's an operation...

If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a new venture...

If parents makes a mistake,
It is a new generation...

If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a new law...

If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a new invention...

If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a new fashion...

If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a new theory...

If our boss makes a mistake,
It is our mistake......

If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a "MISTAKE!!!!"


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Everybody who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I named mine Sex. It was a mistake because Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like to have a license for Sex. He said, " I'd
like to have one too !" Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, " But you
don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my
wife and me and a special room for Sex. He told me every room in the place was for sex. I said," but you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." He replied, "Me too."

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking around. I told him that I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said."I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had sex before I was
married." The judge said, "Me too." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, " What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."



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HOW TO INSTALL LOVE
A call comes through on the customer service line.

Customer Service Rep:
Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today?


Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install love. Can you guide me through the process?

CS Rep: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?


CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH- ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Heart's in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.


Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent. You're getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back, you will need to empty your recycle bin.

Customer:
Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

C Rep: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your name?

CS Rep: You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer suggests a schedule of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency.

Give a little love away ... keep in touch.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FATHER AND SON
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.
With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you
would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on.

---------------------

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even
an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a
NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

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Sex is:
like Nokia (connecting people)
like Nike (Just do it)
like Pepsi (ask for more)
like Coca Cola (Enjoy)
like me (too good to be true)

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